Sweet Oblivion

So people actually eat these things?

I'm easily oblivious to most of what happens around me and, as a result, I'm a bit concerned that my basic reality isn't what it seems. All of this existential uncertainty, by the way, was precipitated by a damned persimmon (of the variety pictured above). I've been in Korea for almost three years now and until last week was unaware that people actually ate this kind of fruit. I mean, I knew about persimmons - having loved them as a kid - but I just didn't know that there were multiple breeds, so to speak. The type in question is hard as rock to the touch and I - rather logically - concluded that they weren't ripe, having grown up waiting for them attain the consistency of soft soap before eating them. I bought a few of the pictured kind a year or two ago and, christ, they never ripened.

Well, screw this, I thought.

So until now I've just avoided this fruit because I couldn't be bothered waiting for them to get ripe. About a week ago, however, some kind soul informed me that, Aaron, you idiot, those persimmons are ready to eat and actually taste pretty good.

She was right, too.

So now I'm trying to make up for lost time and buying them in bunches. Thing is, too many persimmons can really put a stopper in the intestinal works, so I've had to exercise a bit of caution at the same time.

In a larger sense, what this all makes me wonder about are the things I don't know about. That is, what more important things and ideas do I not know about, which, by extension, don't exist in my admittedly narrow world? Let's say, for example, that I've never heard of an event like World War II. Never studied it. Never lived through it. I have absolutely no knowledge of it whatsoever. For me, it simply doesn't exist. Of course, I'm probably somehow affected in some ripple-like way by such an event, but does it really or directly influence my basic thinking of the world? Doubtful.

None of these are terribly lucid thoughts, I know, but it does reinforce my conviction that what we know, what we believe and what we think is nothing more than what we've been taught and told and, therefore, none of it's "real." When you get right down to it, I suppose none of us is anything more than a bi-product of our batty Aunt Lucille, a few college professors and the dubious wisdom of Fox News.

Frightening, ain't it? Which is why I'm just going to ignore it and go eat my persimmons.

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pic by Aaron

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Hiking with the Camel Racers

Buddhist Opulence at Songnisan

When you live in Korea, you quickly grow accustomed to being asked - by every other person - "you from...where?" Becomes a bit bothersome after a while, actually. I know it's just curiousity, but why do I have to be the object of it? Foreigners tend to be hit with a larger barrage of these questions than average while they're hiking, which Koreans love to do and therefore tend to take a keen interest in any waegook who shares their passion. My general feeling at such times, though, is that I didn't come all the way out here to talk cultural origins. Come to think of it, I didn't come out here to talk at all.

My mate, Ian - a Maori New Zealander - and I have resorted to giving BS answers, if only to make the whole routine a bit more interesting for ourselves. If asked, Ian used to answer honestly that he was from New Zealand, but often as not the person didn't know of the place, hard as that may be to believe. Or, if they had heard of New Zealand, it was only because Lord of the Rings was filmed there or because they think Gus Hiddink - demigod coach of the 2002 Korean World Cup soccer team - hails from the country (New Zealand meaning, I guess, "New Holland").

Atop Songnisan (1,059 metres)

"What's the point of being honest?" Ian asked me. "They don't know the place anyway."

So he, and eventually I, just began throwing out the name of whatever country suited us at the moment: Morocco, Uzbekistan, Costa Rica...And yet the answers never seemed preposterous to anyone. What's going on here?

"Where are you from?" asked an adjoshi (middle-aged Korean man) at Songnisan last summer.

"Egypt," we replied.

"Why are you in Korea?"

"For the camel races."

"Camel races?"

"Yeah, the Swimming Camel races, from Wando Island to Jeju Island. Haven't you heard of them?"

"Um...no."

Poor guy probably spent the better part of that evening scouring the internet for "Swimming Camels."

Camel Racer Extraordinaire

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pics by Ian McFadyen and Aaron

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Biblical Thoughts from Jim Hightower

First, to avoid any accusations of plagiarism, I'll credit this to Jim Hightower, the former Secretary of Agriculture of Texas and now a humorist/social critic. Generally, I don't post other people's writings on this site, but the following is worth reading.



By: Jim Hightower

Dear President Bush,

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination...end of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness (Lev.15: 19-24). The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (Lev.1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev.21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev. 24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,
Homer J. Simpson

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Whatever It Takes...

Good thing I've never claimed to be a source of breaking news, because I'm way behind the curve on this one. Deadlines aside, this one was worth posting.

The story revolves around one Hector Manuel Ramos and includes Thai "diploma brokers," one of Korea's top universities and about US$60,000. Seems Hector was working as a hotel bellhop in NYC when he met and married a Korean co-worker in 2002. They soon moved to Korea and Hector, with only a high school education, soon had a job as a language instructor in Konkuk University's business administration department in Seoul. How? Well, a five hour flight to Thailand plus a ten minute wait at a diploma broker's shop on Khaosan Road will collegiately educate you without all the rigamarole of actually going to university. So, Hector soon had himself a degree from Columbia University (hey, might as well go to a good school. Why lie about going to North Mississippi Junior College?).

Not content with merely being a lecturer, Ramos applied for an assistant professorship in March, 2004 at the same university. This, though, required a Ph.D, for which Ramos jetted off to Thailand and received from Central Michigan University - via the same broker, I presume - in what I'm guessing was a rather spare ceremony. Oddly enough, the university never questioned how Ramos came to suddenly have a Ph.D.

As further motivation for Ramos, Konkuk University has a policy of awarding generous payments (in the neighborhood of US$8,000 each) to professors who publish in major academic magazines. For most professors, it's difficult to do this even once in a year. Not so for Dr. Ramos, who set up a website with a name resembling that of a major journal and began to "publish" articles that he'd plagiarized from other sources. He quickly netted 17 million won (about US$14,000) after doing this three times in a year. All told, he took the school for about US$60,000, not including the free housing provided him by the university.

Finally - finally! - the school got suspicious, figured out the website was a fake and sent the cops to pay a visit at Mr. Ramos' spacious on-campus apartment. Not only did they arrest Ramos, but they also found a few marijuana plants growing in said residence, which'll just about sew up a substantial jail term for the hapless fellow. His wife, incidentally, claims to have been previously unaware that Ramos has only a high school education. Really? Unaware? Hmph.

It's hard to say if Ramos is quite a smart, if overly-ambitious, guy (you've got to give him some credit) or if the university folks who hired him are just incredible morons. I'd certainly be worried about my job security if I were 1) another foreign teacher at a university, and 2) the fool who hired Ramos in the first place. Then again, as someone over here noted in reference to The Odessa File, there aren't 'real' degrees and 'fake' degrees, only 'efficient' and 'inefficient' degrees. If a real one doesn't get you a job, then I guess it's inefficient. I can relate.

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Above Pic by Chad Owen

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Fools Rush In

There's an old cliche that says when the Chinese arrive in a new country, they open a restaurant; when the Japanese arrive, they start up a factory; and the Koreans, a church. What's more, Korean missionaries have a reputation for setting up those churches in the most unlikely - some might say foolish - of places (Jordan? Iraq?!). All of which is why, upon reading this story, I immediately thought this fool must be from the ROK. Who else would set about converting lions - lions! - to Christianity? In fairness, though, this particular buffoon is from Taiwan and, in case you were wondering, he received a bite on the leg for his efforts. The lion remains a heathen.

I have to admit, I've never really understood Christianity, especially of the evangelical variety, and least of all when it's trying to thrust itself into every corner of the world. To me, this smacks of a "we-know-what's-best-for-you" cultural arrogance beyond description and I'm going to venture that there's more than a few cultures who would've been quite happy to have never seen a Christian missionary (colonialism, anyone?). All that Western religion sure did Africa, Central America and the Native Americans a lot of good, eh?

Not to say I agree with, much less like, the tenets of most religions, but if I were a Christian I hope I'd use the good sense God gave me and stay the hell out of Iraq about now. And I probably wouldn't try converting people in places like Jordan where such work is, if not explicitly illegal, dangerous to both the missionary and anyone who leaves their Islamic roots. Then again, Christian missionaries have rarely invoked the survival instinct that God gave them.

My better sense makes me question the motives of many of the Korean missionaries working overseas. I fully support the networks in China that help North Koreans escape Mr. Kim's Wild Ride, but the missionaries seem a lot more interested in converting them to Christianity than in simply helping them find a better life. I wonder how much help the defectors would receive if they said, "hey, thanks for helping me, but I'd rather not join the church." Similarly, the evangelists waiting to get into Iraq bear a striking resemblence to the businessmen awaiting the same opportunity. Opportunists, all of them.

I'm sure that somewhere there are genuinely good missionaries doing some great Mother Teresa-type work, but I really wish we could take out the religion and simply help people for reasons of basic altruism.

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The Cinderella Syndrome

A friend and I were talking this week about the notion of women's rights in Korea, comparing it, I guess, to the status of women in the west. While Korean women have made huge strides in the past fifteen years or so, the country still has a long way to go in terms of offering even superficial parity to its females. My contention in this discussion was that, on the whole (I know there are exceptions), women in Korea don't really want and/or aren't ready for true equality.

It was once customary for women, without question, to quit their jobs when they married and to become a full-time housewife (maid, prostitute, nanny, etc.). The perception of men with working wives was they weren't doing a very good job of providing for the family. What this led to, of course, was the woman's total financial dependence on her husband and, unless she was squirreling money away on the sly, an inability to leave if the relationship turned sour, which given the general tolerance for infidelity didn't take long.

Many Korean women now keep their jobs after marriage out of a general financial necessity. There remains, however, a sizable portion who cease working and settle into the homemaker role. My problems with this setup are numerous. As above, it tells me that the female is willing to trade her financial and, to some extent, social independence for being taken care of, at least in an economic sense. At one time, being a housewife was certainly a full-time job and I wouldn't have disagreed with one person needing to stay home to tote water, handwash the clothes and cook for thirty-seven children, but Korea has moved far beyond such hardship at this point. Once the kids are of school-age, a lot of housewifes in Korea fall into the most abject boredom imaginable - and having taught some of them, I can assure you that most of them are in serious need of a job, if only to occupy their time. Why not enlist the husband and kid to help with the household chores - what an idea! - and go work at a coffee shop or a department store, just to occupy their time and get them out of the house?

Moreover, and on a larger societal scale, I believe that for women to make genuine strides toward equality they need to keep their positions in the workplace and, however slowly, move into positions of influence. As it stands now, comapanies are reluctant to hire women because they expect them to quit in a few years upon marriage. This can't be rightly expected to change unless women gradually assume some of the managerial positions and begin making the personnel decisions.

On a slightly different - though not unrelated - note, I am troubled by the tendency in Korea to marry/date/fornicate with the idea of money foremost in mind. This is not to say that folks here marry only for money (or that it doesn't happen in the west), but if asked, a good many will tell you that it has to be one of the most important considerations. Alright, fine, I don't want to marry someone who squanders the dinner money everyday, but neither am I in such dire financial circumstances that I or my family is going to perish if I don't find a wealthy wife. For women, though, this plantation mentality is as good as betraying the women's rights movement by admitting that a large apartment in Gangnam and a BMW is more important than their value as a human being, or for that matter, self-respect. My big question for these women is this: Why marry for money? Why not stay single, get the education (most Korean women have college degrees), and make the money yourself? Get the Ph.d, buy a vibrator, and eliminate the need for men entirely, or at least let them start marrying for money - and I don't mean money that came from the parents (because it was probably made by the father).

As a male, I know I have less cause to worry about this than the other gender, but I'm bothered by the contradictions I see so often in Korea. All the talk of impending equality doesn't exactly mesh with the societal traditions that so few dare to break. But then, I guess it's always easier being on the outside, looking in.

If you've got the time, here's a short clip regarding this very phenomenon, albeit in the States (see, it happens elsewhere). You will need Real Player to listen.

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Above pic by Aaron

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