Nonsense, horsefeathers, and idle musings from a decade in South Korea (2002-2012).

22 December, 2004

International Panty Thieves

By Aaron
22 December, 2004

I've always suspected that it was only a matter of degree separating Oregon from Korea (that, and about 10,000 kilometers), and now I have proof - in this case, 3,000 pairs of panties stolen from Oregon coeds, allegedly by a local Korean man. Even more coincidental is that this man, Sung Koo Kim, is being tried in a Yamhill County court in McMinnville, where I graduated from high school (and where, in my senior year, I was voted "Most Likely to Become a Millionaire." Just so you know.).

Apparently, Kim would follow young college students home to their apartments or dorm rooms and then, while they were out or sleeping, he would sneak in and steal their underwear and - get this - dryer lint. He also liked to videotape himself in the act of, um, gratifying himself while in the students' homes. Returing home from these outings, Kim would seal the lint and panties in ziploc bags and file them away with all the dutiful care of a national archivist.

Problem is - if Kim didn't have enough already - a few of his pilferings came from the same apartment complex in which a now-disappeared female BYU student was visiting her sister. The police are calling Kim "a person of interest," which to me sounds like "suspect," but, hey, innocent until proven otherwise.

Judging by reports from people in Oregon following the story, the media's done an admirable job of keeping Kim's nationality out of the reports, at least as a crucial factor. If that were Korea, the report would read something like this:

"Today, Aaron, an American, was arrested by police for stealing panties from Korean women. The American was not armed but should be considered dangerous because, well, he's American and we all know what Americans are like. It's a well-known fact that they all carry AIDS, rape cats and hate gimchi."

Kim's bail, for the record, has been set at $16 million dollars (!!). Here's one guy who's got a lot of explaining to do.