Woman Disdained
>> 29 June, 2008
Photo by riNux
A friend of mine works in Seoul for a local bank where he handles the bank's relationships with a variety of companies. Some months back, one of his female colleagues was assigned as relationship manager to a Hyundai account, a decision which initially pleased the relevant men at Hyundai who quite enjoyed ogling a woman while slogging through the dry minutiae of, say, a bond issuance. That she was, from what I can gather, good at her job was merely an added bonus for these fellows.
Everything on the account went swimmingly until early this past spring when the Hyundai boys decided to take this woman golfing and, afterward, for drinks over lunch. As it turns out, she wasn't much of a golfer and, what's more, couldn't keep up with the immoderate drinking that so defined professional life for these fellows. Soon, Hyundai was ringing up the bank, asking that a male be assigned to their account - someone who played golf, drank to excess, and could belch, fart and swear like a real man. And so my friend, who hates golf and excessive drinking, ended up with the account.
Korean men of a certain generation, I've learned, only talk to women for one reason; luckily, every woman has one. Too many men in Korea are incapable of talking to a female - other than their relatives - if the possibility of sex is not somehow involved, and dealing with females as equals is certainly beyond consideration. Corporate offices in Korea too often have the feel of recess in elementary school, back when girls were stupid, weak, and never to be picked for the kickball team, and while some males outgrow this stage, it seems that many have simply packed up their callow notions and taken them into the boardroom.
In my experience, it's not enough for women in Korea to be intelligent, resourceful and motivated. No, for their talent to be recognized and for them to earn promotions, women in Korea must be exponentially more intelligent, more motivated and more resourceful than their male counterparts in similar positions. That most work in our modern economy no longer demands physical strength or a pair of testicles seems not to matter. Women, by dint of their unsightly golf handicaps, are presumed incapable of managing an organization of any size because, clearly, there's a direct correlation between golf scores and profits.
The population of South Korea is, at present, about 50% female, which leads me in a crude way to assume that about half of the best potential employees, managers, and leaders will similarly be female. Any company, then, that hires, fires or promotes based on genitalia is doing itself a great disservice, one that in a free market will almost certainly spell its demise. Milton Friedman wrote as much in Capitalism and Freedom:
May I be so blunt as to say, 'duh'?
Everything on the account went swimmingly until early this past spring when the Hyundai boys decided to take this woman golfing and, afterward, for drinks over lunch. As it turns out, she wasn't much of a golfer and, what's more, couldn't keep up with the immoderate drinking that so defined professional life for these fellows. Soon, Hyundai was ringing up the bank, asking that a male be assigned to their account - someone who played golf, drank to excess, and could belch, fart and swear like a real man. And so my friend, who hates golf and excessive drinking, ended up with the account.
Korean men of a certain generation, I've learned, only talk to women for one reason; luckily, every woman has one. Too many men in Korea are incapable of talking to a female - other than their relatives - if the possibility of sex is not somehow involved, and dealing with females as equals is certainly beyond consideration. Corporate offices in Korea too often have the feel of recess in elementary school, back when girls were stupid, weak, and never to be picked for the kickball team, and while some males outgrow this stage, it seems that many have simply packed up their callow notions and taken them into the boardroom.
In my experience, it's not enough for women in Korea to be intelligent, resourceful and motivated. No, for their talent to be recognized and for them to earn promotions, women in Korea must be exponentially more intelligent, more motivated and more resourceful than their male counterparts in similar positions. That most work in our modern economy no longer demands physical strength or a pair of testicles seems not to matter. Women, by dint of their unsightly golf handicaps, are presumed incapable of managing an organization of any size because, clearly, there's a direct correlation between golf scores and profits.
The population of South Korea is, at present, about 50% female, which leads me in a crude way to assume that about half of the best potential employees, managers, and leaders will similarly be female. Any company, then, that hires, fires or promotes based on genitalia is doing itself a great disservice, one that in a free market will almost certainly spell its demise. Milton Friedman wrote as much in Capitalism and Freedom:
...there is an incentive in a free market to separate economic efficiency from other characteristics of the individual. A businessman or an entrepreneur who expresses preferences in his business activities that are not related to productive efficiency is at a disadvantage compared to other individuals who do not. (109)A few years back, Roy Adler of Pepperdine University provided some statistical ballast for this argument by showing, in an extensive 19-year study, that the 25 Fortune 500 firms with the best record of promoting women to high positions are between 18 and 69 percent more profitable than the median Fortune 500 firms in their industries. A number of explanations for this fact have been offered - for instance, that profitable companies are more willing to experiment - but I'd venture that the answer is obvious: these companies have instituted the strictest meritocracies. Performance and potential simply matter more than whether or not you menstruate.
May I be so blunt as to say, 'duh'?
5 comments:
you know, I heard awhile back about how unfairly Korean women are treated even compared to foreign white women. Foreign women are invited even more to these "business" affairs at the bars and are included more in meetings and such. Then there was this report that came out in one of the newspapers about a survey taken by Korean women in the workplace and how like half of them (I can't remember the figure) wished they were men because of all the inequality and ill-treatment. It is so sad!
Does this kind of language work on the women in Korea? I'll be moving to Seoul in January and need to know what works. The "sensitive white male" thingie worked well in Japan, so maybe I will give it a go in Korea , too.
Thanks!
Michael
Actually, Michael, this sort of language doesn't work well at all in Korea because, if actually put into action, it would require women to push for more than they're currently given and demand more out of them. As it is, nothing much is expected and, thus, they don't have to try very hard to meet expectations. I've long thought that Korean women, on the whole, don't really want equality.
But then, I'm married and off the market, so what do I know about what works and what doesn't?
Do you recall that US woman TV reporter who was dressed as a man and taught male body language and then walked around a city for a day to experience first-hand life as a man? I want to do that in Korea. I want to walk around for one day in a suit and tie and see how Koreans, especially men, treat me.
Women can cash in on their youth and looks, and foreign women can do this with much less risk of sexual harassment. Whenever I went to an office or had to do some business, I usually dressed up in a skirt and heels and splashed on my most flattering shade of lipstick. For a foreign woman, look pretty + speak Korean = kind and courteous treatment from men.
BTW, I have a question. When middle-aged white collar men speak to you in banks, offices, and other formal settings, do they use basic polite speech or do they use honorifics, too? As a woman in her thirties, I noticed that younger Koreans regardless of sex used honorifics while same-age or older Koreans differed by sex. Women usually used honorifics while men did not. In fact, one office worker at the university, who was approximately the same age, spoke to me and most other women in banmal. University professors who did not know me used honorifics. Blue-collar men almost always used banmal I speculate that Korean profs know that their position is so much higher than mine and thus speaking very polite Korean to me only accentuated their refined status. Blue-collar men, on the other hand, sometimes seemed to resent foreigners in general, and would sooner twist a knife around their gut than speak politely to a foreign female.
Sonagi
Sonagi,
I don't believe I've ever heard of that reporter, but agree that both men and women, especially in Korea, could learn a lot by living in the other gender's world for a day or two.
As to your question - I don't use Korean very often in my job, and now I'm struggling to make a pie chart in my mind for how often people use banmal, polite, and honorific speech. Older and better-educated people, in my experience, tend to be more formal across the board so I probably get the honorifics from them, actually, whereas younger Koreans (and yes, the blue-collared) are more likely to stick with basic polite forms.
I'll have pay more attention to this and see if I can better quantify it.
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