Man, you know I've enjoyed things that kings and queens will never have
In fact, things kings and queens can't never get
And they don't even know about it
Seoul's
Joong Ang Daily newspaper has a knack for understatement. A few days back, for instance, the paper ran an article under the headline "
Some Salary Workers Now Eat Like Kings of Old." Which is true, of course: the variety and quality of food available to your average worker today surpasses what even the most powerful monarchs could easily obtain in the not-so-distant past, and at much cheaper prices. The article fails to point out, however, that the modern middle (and usually lower) classes of developed nations live better than the royalty of past generations not only when it comes to food, but in myriad other ways as well.
For example, my modest apartment has excellent plumbing, reliable electricity and windows that keep out the drafts. I seldom have to turn on my natural gas heat even in the winter, though the air conditioner does help a man make it through Seoul's sultry summers. That's about five points for me, zero for Queen Victoria - and she had to fret and stew about an empire.
I also have three computers and an iPod Touch, all of which are connected to the internet and which give me instant access to just about any piece of information I could want (except, perhaps, Charlize Theron's phone number). The computers and iPod will also, at my command, play just about any piece of music I want to hear, from a Chopin sonata to Ray Stevens' "
Mississippi Squirrel Revival." Never once have I had to pony up the money to hire a wandering band of minstrels to provide my evening's entertainment. As far as I know, Louis XVI never had anything better than a
Commodore Vic-20 computer, and he was always looking for new minstrels. That's another few points for me.
And just by walking into my local pharmacy, I have access to better healthcare than, say, Queen Anne, who, with her gouty foot, kicked the bucket at the ripe old age of 49. Again, points for me.
So while I may not have the power or prestige of history's monarchs, I do have a whole host of comforts and luxuries that, as Howlin' Wolf put it, they can't never get. Even better, I don't have their levels of stress. For the headaches I do have, however, there's always Tylenol. No doubt Edward VIII could have used some acetaminophen when the prime mininsters were running him out of office for proposing marriage to a commoner.
Thinking about all these stately pleasures reminded me of Don Boudreaux's essay, "
Equality and Capitalism," published in
The Freeman back in 2002. In it, Boudreaux imagines what our own commoner ancestors would think of the lives of today's wealthiest people:
Do a mental experiment. Imagine resurrecting an ancestor from the year 1700 and showing him a typical day in the life of Bill Gates. The opulence would obviously astonish your ancestor, but a good guess is that the features of Gates’s life that would make the deepest impression are that he and his family never worry about starving to death; that they bathe daily; that they have several changes of clean clothes; that they have clean and healthy teeth; that diseases such as smallpox, polio, diphtheria, tuberculosis, tetanus, and pertussis present no substantial risks; that Melinda Gates’s chances of dying during childbirth are about one-sixtieth what they would have been in 1700; that each child born to the Gateses is about 40 times more likely than a pre-industrial child to survive infancy; that the Gateses have a household refrigerator and freezer (not to mention microwave oven, dishwasher, and radios and televisions); that the Gateses’s work week is only five days and that the family takes several weeks of vacation each year; that each of the Gates children will receive more than a decade of formal schooling; that the Gateses routinely travel through the air to distant lands in a matter of hours; that they effortlessly converse with people miles or oceans away; that they frequently enjoy the world’s greatest actors’ and actresses’ stunning performances; that the Gateses can, whenever and wherever they please, listen to a Beethoven piano sonata, a Puccini opera, or a Frank Sinatra ballad.
In short, what would likely most impress a visitor from the past about Bill Gates’s life are precisely those modern advantages that are not unique to Bill Gates - advantages now enjoyed by nearly all Americans.
So much for the "good ol' days."